The Birds and the Birds?

We spent a few hours at the beach last weekend. We live close to the Atlantic and after a day of packing for our move next weekend, we rewarded ourselves with a picnic dinner and boogie boards. As we walked down the sand toward the water to scope out a perfect spot "ocean side", I noticed two men making out on the towel next to us. Not just kissing, but really going at it. Now mind you, this in and of itself does not bother me in the least - yeah, yeah, I am one of the people who can truly say " some of my best friends are gay and mean it" and I was an HIV nurse for years - during the "it's only a gay disease" years. Anyway, I digress.....we have been very open with our kids in a general kind of way about the fact that while most girls marry boys, some boys can marry boys and some girls love and marry other girls........no judgement either way, just a matter of fact kind of conversation.

We use all the proper anatomical verbage (J once announced in the middle of a restaurant that she had a "bagina" and mommy said only she could touch it"). We do a regular "no touch zone" lesson. So, it struck me strange that neither of my older kids has ever asked *any* questions about the birds and the bees. You know, those questions that you are holding your breath thinking they are coming. We keep waiting for them to ask something, ..anything....where does the baby come from, how does it get in there.....but they were more interested in the boys kissing boys at the beach. I guess that is going to be our segway into a more formal discussion. So, I bought this book today. Anyone else read or used this? I'd love some advice.

Double Trouble?

I haven’t been here in ages. We are in the midst of moving into a new home which required selling current home, keeping said current home “spotless”(yeah, right with three kids) while it was on the market and leaving said home to hide out around town every time the freakin’ phone rang to show the house! Now, don’t get me wrong. I am truly grateful. We had over 50 showings in 2 weeks and multiple offers and a deal at the end of the 2 week period. This wouldn’t be so amazing except we put our house on the market just as the market was turning for its rapid decline! But, all of this while I had to suddenly travel out of town for work for several weeks and juggle all the end of school year activities and camp forms for summer. By the way, my kids did not get out of school till the end of June (that’s the Northeast for ya). We move at the end of the month.

So, my girl won’t sleep in her bed! She has been in my bed every night for the last two weeks. I sort of like it. Ok, I actually really like it. Daddy, not so much. As I tried to play it tough last night and marched her back into her room for the forth time, she said, “it’s not fair, I want a twin too”. You know, she has a point. Her twin brothers have someone to sleep with. They have someone to start school with and go to camp with. They can stick together or separate – but the choice is there for them to make and it’s always been there for them. She has to go it alone. Well, just like all the rest of us do in life. But, it was the first time she seemed to notice. She wants a “twin”. You know what? I want a twin too. Well, just to share clothes – and chores! Guess what though? Neither one of us is getting a twin!

Multi-task no more!

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~Lisa Alther



One of the reasons it is so hard for me to be productive (other than I am exhausted) is that I have mastered the skill of multi-tasking. Some say that women are natural instinctive multi-taskers and we notice it more when our children are born. We can breastfeed a baby while typing on the computer and mentally making the grocery list. We know who needs to be where and when and we manage to always get the seasonally appropriate clothing in the drawers every few months in the right sizes – while remembering birthdays, anniversaries, school book fairs and the latest budget projections at work. Now, studies are showing that multi-tasking does not actually make you work faster or save time – that it is often better to concentrate on the task at hand.


My three children are getting older and their schedules are getting more complicated and hectic. I hear this is just the beginning of years of “running around” juggling activities. My business is getting busier (a good thing, yes) but I now find myself forgetting a lot of things that I used to be able to keep in my head. Not to mention that my brain is also aging. So, I quickly made my way back to David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” or GTD.

I will not profess to be an expert on GTD but I do know that there are a few key tips that can be applied by anyone to make their life more productive. One of the greatest lessons for me has been the “capture” of information/data in a centralized place (or inbox) other than in *my* head. Think of all the information bullets you dodge each hour of the day – emails, voicemails, school reminder notes, invitations, camp forms, reference materials, newspaper articles (that you hope to read one day), bills, receipts, recipes, hotel confirmation number – the list is endless and it never ends!


So – the first step is to get it all out of your head. All the "stuff" that is clogging up your brain trying to remember. Write down everything that you are thinking about – things you need to do now or later or maybe even some day. Things you need to find a place for or get rid of. Things you are worried about forgetting. DA calls it “brainstorming”. My list includes things like send boys birthday invite, get plane tickets for business trip next week, purchase additional smoke detector, purchase mulch, deposit check, update work website, update marketing list, go back to Ireland……see, it’s everything.


Put it all down. Clear your mind. I am going to work on generating that list tonight and hope to get a restful night of sleep. I’ll check back with the next step.

Care to join me?

Paper or Plastic?

I am an organizing junkie – or rather, a purchaser and reader of everything “organizational and time management related”. My problem is that I haven’t really gotten my system on auto pilot. A few years ago, a friend and business coach turned me onto David Allen’s “Getting Things Done”. It was the first book I had ever read that really made a lot of sense to me – for both personal and professional use - and I even went out and bought all the files and folders and attempted to start my system. The problem for me is that I haven’t really found out whether I am better with paper or “techno” – (what I am deeming plastic). I have both. I use both. I actually like them both for different reasons. And using both still mean I am still disorganized.

Buying a new house and getting our current house ready for market (especially a “down” market) has opened a “spring cleaning” door wide open. The need to set goals, purge, file, sort and delegate is a new daily chore. I feel invigorated and overwhelmed at the same time. I dug out my David Allen book combined with my Peter Walsh book – and I am on a mission.

If you are not familiar with either book, I will share the concepts with you over the next few posts. Are you ready to “Get things Done” along with me?

I’d love to hear how you keep your life organized and get things done. Please share your favorite tips.

I am Woman!

I have a vivid memory of those first months with my newborn twins. We were living in an apartment and I hadn’t showered in about 3 or 4 days. There were two other new moms in the building across the courtyard and each day they would strap their newborns into the “single” snap and go – and walk into town for Starbucks. I knew this because they would pass by my window and I would imagine all the wonderful bonding moments they were creating with each other – over a hot, steamy latte no less. I, on the other hand, had two infants - and the constant juggle of nursing and pumping and rocking and soothing – left little time for anything except the next feeding. I did not know these women and did not really find an opportunity to meet them – but I was so envious of them during those months.

I remember this so well not because it was hard to have twins or because I was so sleep deprived. I remember it because I felt so very isolated during this time. It was not quite the “stay at home” that I imagined. I didn’t know any other women in my unique “twin” situation. I could not easily get out of the house. There were no “double” snap and gos in those days – and I could not easily manage the two infant carriers or the feeding schedule out of the house by myself (I eventually mastered it). I actually learned a great deal about myself during those days. I am a social creature! I crave connection – and not just to my children. I love women. I need women in my life. I sometimes wish I could live with other women. I often joke with my friends that what we need is female communal living – a big giant house with the kids where we all love, communicate and support one another (and cook and babysit) – and then we can “date” our husbands on an “as needed” basis. It’s not that I don’t love my husband or think he is a tremendous father. It’s just that there is a kind of support and connection that other women provide me that no man has ever been able to give – not even my gay male friends!

The media loves to promote the mommy wars - one-sided stories about supermoms having it all, or working mothers vs. stay-at-home moms – but in the end, I think we all need each other. I know that I do! Maybe more than we let on to each other. I often wish I had yelled out the window to those two new moms. Hey, I am here - see me, please! Help me please! Bring me a double shot, low-fat latte - and a blueberry scone!

One sheep, Two sheep, Red sheep ...oh wait?! Wrong one.

As they say, “this too shall pass”. Who ever "they" are.....And it did…..the inability to keep my eyes open or my head off the pillow last week has been replaced with a cruel curse of insomnia. It is nearly 1:00am and I am wide awake. I could list all the “things” that have been keeping me hopping lately, but the funny thing is that I don’t really feel all that stressed out. I guess I must be pushing them way down and alas, I can’t sleep now. Now the question is chamomile tea or a glass of wine? What do you do when you can’t sleep??

I guess I could:

Count sheep (how does one actually do this?).
Deep breathe (wouldn’t I be doing this if I were actually asleep?).
Sniff lavender (oh, wait, forgot to plant lavender garden in preparation for insomnia)
Have sex (too much work and that would require waking snoring husband – or not?).
Read (not in the mood).

We bought a new house. There, I said it out loud. We only just told the kids yesterday – hope they can keep it quiet for a bit. We still have to sell our current home and we have quite a bit of cosmetic surgery to perform. It really is not a great time to be searching for a bigger mortgage and gone seem to be the days of buying a house contingent on selling yours (at least, not in my part of the country). We got into a bidding war and we still can’t believe we got the house! We close at the end of July – and the best part is it is just up the street! We get to stay in our neighborhood and stay in our school! But, I really don't think this is the reason I can't sleep.

Well, my tea is gone and I am going to see if I can finally get some zzzzzzz….. boy, I’d be asleep if I had to read this post – it’s boring……

YAWN.........

What Causes Exhaustion?
What people often don’t realize is that symptoms of exhaustion are usually a warning that something is wrong physically or emotionally, or that our lifestyle is in serious need of examination and change. Often referred to as fatigue, exhaustion can have multiple causes (including some serious medical conditions) and should not be ignored if it is persistent or interferes with your daily functioning.

I would post about why I am so exhausted this week but frankly, I am too exhauted to post!

How about you? Are you full of energy or are you dragging also?