Summer is ....

Our summer is complete! Nothing makes it seem like summer until you've had your fill of these. Growing up in New England, summer memories always revolved around plastic bibs, metal crackers, melted butter and cold beer (well, no beer as a child). Clam shacks and lobster joints from Narragansett, Rhode Island to Cape Cod, Massachusetts to Ogunquit, Maine - the memory of summer comes flooding back each time we enjoy another lobster feast.

We had our lobster dinner last night. First one all summer and it was delicious. Perfectly steamed, with sweet corn on the cob and loads of dripping butter.

If you don't live close or plan a trip to New England, you can still enjoy the experience any time of year with this or host your own clambake on your patio. I promise you will not be disappointed. What food or meal reminds you of summer??

Yes, I am seeking balance. Whatever that means. I am often asked the proverbial "how do you do it" question as I run from pre-school committees to business meeting to baseball game? To be honest, I don't really know. As in, I don't really know. Not in a , "oh, I'm so amazing kind of way". I am not sure that I have a system of answers - as Nike says, I "just do it". I can't imagine not being busy and running around. Might have to work on that...

I did recently read the bestselling 4-Hour Work Week. I didn't honestly think I could end up working only 4 hours a week, but I was intrigued with what lessons I might be able to take away. So much of it really is common sense. I am using some of the tips now to find more time in my week to be a better mom. Gosh, I wish I thought to write this book and make a gazillion dollars but I digress....

So, I'll post of few of my recent take-aways from the book over the next few days. Maybe they will help you also. I would also love to hear what tips you might have for reaching your balance point - juggling life as a mother.


1. Outsource everything you don't have to be doing: Keep in mind that I realize that many of these tips are luxuries and have a monetary cost associated with them. For me, I have realized that what I gain back in "time" that I can spend with my family is worth it's weight in gold. This is not an option for everyone and it is costly to outsource, but I have learned to outsource some of my activities. Just so happens that I despise grocery shopping. I hate it. Not sure why, but it just not on my list of faves. So, I shop online for groceries and much to my amazement, I save more money this way. I can shop with my list when I am focused and only buy what I actually need. I can use coupons and there are weekly sales - just like the bricks and mortar store. I set up a recurring delivery time and set aside a set time each week for ordering. It also helps to have someone else carrying in the large or heavy items. I still stop in for a weekly run for milk or fresh produce, but 80-90% of my groceries come to me. I even find time to clip coupons via online sites such as this one.

For work, I use a virtual assistant for projects that would be more efficiently done by a professional (rather than struggling to create forms or populate databases). I have found some of the best folks here.

I have at times outsourced housecleaning, dry cleaning delivery and do the majority of my shopping online - for books, presents, clothing. Try this next time you are looking for a unique gift or thank you present. We use this for our movie rentals and this saves me time (and gas) for purchasing postage and mailing right from my doorstep. We even have our wine delivered and can research and pick and chose bottles.

My goal in outsourcing is to gain time with my family. None of these tips are rocket science, but they did require a change in mindset. What outsourcing shortcuts have you found that make your life easier?

Do you PLANK?

I started a few sessions with a personal trainer at the gym. I felt like I had reached a plateau, was kind of bored and didn't feel like I was getting any fitter. I know my bikini days are long over but I still would like to see a little more overall "definition".

Enter young, hot, spunky trainer/nutritionist girl. Yep, nothing like making your 40-something body feel like it's rusted forever!

I love her - she has made me feel better in two weeks than a year of gym going has done. I also hate her. She makes me do this. Again and again and again.....Who knew? Try it, it seems to be working.

Shoeless, Sockless, Wordless Wednesday

Summer Picks

One of the great things about summer is the long reading list that awaits. In preparation for our house move, our television has been disconnected. I could not be happier. The kids were not happy at first, but quickly moved on to other things. I am enjoying extra evening snuggle time with one of my twins reading this: Amazon.com: The Invention of Hugo Cabret: Brian Selznick: Books. We love it so far and can't wait for each night to roll around so we can continue.

What are you reading this summer? What are your kids reading? Anything good to recommend?

Tick Tock.....

Well, if this doesn't just sum it all up. Use it or lose it.

Average Day

Average: can be defined as:

approximating the statistical norm or average or expected value; lacking special distinction, rank, or status; commonly encountered; lacking exceptional quality or ability; around the middle of a scale of evaluation

Average: As my friend, Huddtoo, asks - define an average day.

Hmmmm…..Average? You mean, as in, “typical”.

There is a lot about me that is sort of “typical” and many things about me and my life that are very “atypical”. I can’t tell you how many times growing up I would hear someone say, “well, that’s just typical of her”. Like, keeping my maiden name – “well, that’s just typical, she’s always been so independent”. It’s hard for me to define an average day. I run a consulting business from my home so some days I am working at home in my comfy clothes. Other days I am on a plane traveling to a client and working in a suit and out of a hotel room. I crave structure but I also get bored easily with “average” and like to mix it up. See, I’m not “typical”.

So, how do I define my average “not traveling” day? Well, I started to try to write it all down. My day seems boring. The task was so tedious. So, I decided to write down only my average morning. I typically manage the morning whether the kids are in school or during the summer. My sitter arrives at 10:30 am each day and stays till 5:30pm. She takes care of the pickups and dropoffs and general kid care between those hours so that I can focus on work. Here goes:

4:50am Day starts with alarm from blackberry on my side table; Hit alarm for one 5 min snooze
4:55 – 5:05: Get up in dark, feel around for workout clothes that I laid out the night before. Quick am routine, splash water on face, brush teeth, put in contacts and sort of comb hair.
5:05am – Mix up scoop of protein powder, soy milk and OJ into smoothie and slurp down. Set coffee maker to start coffee at 6:30am.
5:15am Fill water bottle, grab iPod, keys and meet neighbor outside – one of us drives each week to gym.
5:30am -6:30am – Workout. 30 minutes of cardio typically on elliptical followed by 25 minutes of weights and 5 minutes of stretching at end. Just started this week with a trainer for a few sessions to “mix it up”. Got bored with my average workout. Now I’m in pain!
6:45am – Arrive home, sit down with coffee (black) and try to mentally prepare for my day (or I start the list) or start writing notes to the nanny about playdates and pickup times and after school (or camp, now that its summer) and reminders for sunscreen, appropriate healthy snacks and other various rules and regulations. Usually fold a load of laundry while drinking next cup of coffee and then turn on computer, scan through emails.
7:15am – Call kids to come for breakfast, start making lunches, preparing snacks and thinking about what we might have for dinner (does something need to come out of freezer?). Throw in another load of laundry.
7:30 am – Start reminding kids to get dressed, make beds, brush teeth
7:35am – See that kids have ignored or “forgotten” routine and remind them again to get dressed, make beds and brush teeth.
7:40 am – Get myself in shower, blow dry hair – and yell to kids to get dressed, make beds and brush teeth. Apply sunscreen to 3 kids, check backpacks for lunch, snack, bathing suits and sunscreen. Ask if beds are made and teeth are brushed?
8:15am -8:45– Leave house to drop 4 year old at her camp first and then drop boys at their camp 8:55am – Arrive back home to start my “work day”. Seems pretty AVERAGE to me!

My workday is a mish mash of structured and unstructured client calls and project report writing and continuous emails – or it might involve onsite client trainings and presentations and steering committee meetings. Either way, much of what I end up doing is “reactive” rather than proactive and I often end up frustrated that I am not getting my actual work done. I left the corporate world after the birth of my third child – so that I could keep working but would have some “control” over my schedule. What I have noticed lately is that I do control my schedule but that there are just too many things to do and I am not “in control” when I don’t set limits or boundaries. So, if I am shifting from work emails at 7am to kid chauffeur at 8:30 and then back to worker at 9am – while mixing in grocery ordering, loads of laundry, bill paying, social planning etc. – well, it’s no wonder I'm not able to get anything done!

I just found this “free web conference” that I am planning on joining tomorrow. I hope I learn something as I will once again be filling my time with something other than my “work”. Oh well, maybe it’s just the summer and I will back in organizational and time management mode by September.

Thanks Fran for giving me something to do today (wink)! Care to join in and tell us about your "average day".

What more can I possibly say?

FOUR DOLLARS AND FORTY NINE CENTS!?? That's what a gallon of regular gas currently costs in my town.

Guess what the minimum wage is in my State: The New York minimum wage is $7.15 per hour

Previous Federal Minimum Wage: $5.15
New Federal Minimum Wage:
$5.85 - July 24th, 2007
$6.55 - July 24th, 2008
$7.25 - July 24th, 2009

Does anyone in Washington know how to do the math???

The Birds and the Birds?

We spent a few hours at the beach last weekend. We live close to the Atlantic and after a day of packing for our move next weekend, we rewarded ourselves with a picnic dinner and boogie boards. As we walked down the sand toward the water to scope out a perfect spot "ocean side", I noticed two men making out on the towel next to us. Not just kissing, but really going at it. Now mind you, this in and of itself does not bother me in the least - yeah, yeah, I am one of the people who can truly say " some of my best friends are gay and mean it" and I was an HIV nurse for years - during the "it's only a gay disease" years. Anyway, I digress.....we have been very open with our kids in a general kind of way about the fact that while most girls marry boys, some boys can marry boys and some girls love and marry other girls........no judgement either way, just a matter of fact kind of conversation.

We use all the proper anatomical verbage (J once announced in the middle of a restaurant that she had a "bagina" and mommy said only she could touch it"). We do a regular "no touch zone" lesson. So, it struck me strange that neither of my older kids has ever asked *any* questions about the birds and the bees. You know, those questions that you are holding your breath thinking they are coming. We keep waiting for them to ask something, ..anything....where does the baby come from, how does it get in there.....but they were more interested in the boys kissing boys at the beach. I guess that is going to be our segway into a more formal discussion. So, I bought this book today. Anyone else read or used this? I'd love some advice.

Double Trouble?

I haven’t been here in ages. We are in the midst of moving into a new home which required selling current home, keeping said current home “spotless”(yeah, right with three kids) while it was on the market and leaving said home to hide out around town every time the freakin’ phone rang to show the house! Now, don’t get me wrong. I am truly grateful. We had over 50 showings in 2 weeks and multiple offers and a deal at the end of the 2 week period. This wouldn’t be so amazing except we put our house on the market just as the market was turning for its rapid decline! But, all of this while I had to suddenly travel out of town for work for several weeks and juggle all the end of school year activities and camp forms for summer. By the way, my kids did not get out of school till the end of June (that’s the Northeast for ya). We move at the end of the month.

So, my girl won’t sleep in her bed! She has been in my bed every night for the last two weeks. I sort of like it. Ok, I actually really like it. Daddy, not so much. As I tried to play it tough last night and marched her back into her room for the forth time, she said, “it’s not fair, I want a twin too”. You know, she has a point. Her twin brothers have someone to sleep with. They have someone to start school with and go to camp with. They can stick together or separate – but the choice is there for them to make and it’s always been there for them. She has to go it alone. Well, just like all the rest of us do in life. But, it was the first time she seemed to notice. She wants a “twin”. You know what? I want a twin too. Well, just to share clothes – and chores! Guess what though? Neither one of us is getting a twin!