I *heart* Hillary

She knows better than anyone - "it takes a village".

She has inspired me - as a woman, as a mother, as an activist, as my senator!

She has flaws. Don't we all.

She has heart. I believe that with all of my heart.

Her time will come. I believe that with all of my heart.

Love her.

It's Party Time!!

I wanted Hillary - I never hide that fact, but I am on board.

Yes, We Can!

Yes, We Can!

Counting down the minutes till Michelle Obama takes the stage.

Yes, We Can!

Playlist Help

I am getting ready to host my first dinner party in our new home. It is in 2 weeks and the pressure is on. I am undertaking a big "themed" event - an outdoor Tuscan-style dinner. Picture long table, sunflowers and fire-pit, lights in the trees.....family style platters of antipasti, grilled fish and vegetables, olives and bread. Oh, and vino, vino, vino!

My question to you is can you help me prepare the party music playlist??

What are your favorite songs? I need pre-dinner drink music and eating background music and maybe some "dancing on table" music. Any songs that you just LOVE?? Any era, any type, any suggestions welcome.

Wordless Wednesday

Two Heads are Better than......

"Engagement" without the need for a Diamond

We have been on vacation and I am having trouble getting back into a routine. With the days of summer quickly coming to an end, I am attempting to savor every last minute with my kids. They are growing up too fast. I am aging too fast. The days speed by too fast. I ran across this list today on my local YMCA site.

How to engage our children:

1. Ask them about their day
2. Ask their opinion
3. Set clear boundaries and expectations
4. Be a positive role model for youth
5. Provide positive creative outlets for youth
6. Get to know the kids on your block if you don’t already
7. Instill positive values and model them frequently
8. Smile
9. Praise more, criticize less
10. Keep your promises
11. Delight in their discoveries
12. Answer their questions
13. Make yourself available
14. Be there for their events
15. Catch them doing something right
16. Admit when you make a mistake
17. Believe in them
18. Daydream with them
19. Make decisions together
20. Love them, no matter what

Summer is ....

Our summer is complete! Nothing makes it seem like summer until you've had your fill of these. Growing up in New England, summer memories always revolved around plastic bibs, metal crackers, melted butter and cold beer (well, no beer as a child). Clam shacks and lobster joints from Narragansett, Rhode Island to Cape Cod, Massachusetts to Ogunquit, Maine - the memory of summer comes flooding back each time we enjoy another lobster feast.

We had our lobster dinner last night. First one all summer and it was delicious. Perfectly steamed, with sweet corn on the cob and loads of dripping butter.

If you don't live close or plan a trip to New England, you can still enjoy the experience any time of year with this or host your own clambake on your patio. I promise you will not be disappointed. What food or meal reminds you of summer??

Yes, I am seeking balance. Whatever that means. I am often asked the proverbial "how do you do it" question as I run from pre-school committees to business meeting to baseball game? To be honest, I don't really know. As in, I don't really know. Not in a , "oh, I'm so amazing kind of way". I am not sure that I have a system of answers - as Nike says, I "just do it". I can't imagine not being busy and running around. Might have to work on that...

I did recently read the bestselling 4-Hour Work Week. I didn't honestly think I could end up working only 4 hours a week, but I was intrigued with what lessons I might be able to take away. So much of it really is common sense. I am using some of the tips now to find more time in my week to be a better mom. Gosh, I wish I thought to write this book and make a gazillion dollars but I digress....

So, I'll post of few of my recent take-aways from the book over the next few days. Maybe they will help you also. I would also love to hear what tips you might have for reaching your balance point - juggling life as a mother.


1. Outsource everything you don't have to be doing: Keep in mind that I realize that many of these tips are luxuries and have a monetary cost associated with them. For me, I have realized that what I gain back in "time" that I can spend with my family is worth it's weight in gold. This is not an option for everyone and it is costly to outsource, but I have learned to outsource some of my activities. Just so happens that I despise grocery shopping. I hate it. Not sure why, but it just not on my list of faves. So, I shop online for groceries and much to my amazement, I save more money this way. I can shop with my list when I am focused and only buy what I actually need. I can use coupons and there are weekly sales - just like the bricks and mortar store. I set up a recurring delivery time and set aside a set time each week for ordering. It also helps to have someone else carrying in the large or heavy items. I still stop in for a weekly run for milk or fresh produce, but 80-90% of my groceries come to me. I even find time to clip coupons via online sites such as this one.

For work, I use a virtual assistant for projects that would be more efficiently done by a professional (rather than struggling to create forms or populate databases). I have found some of the best folks here.

I have at times outsourced housecleaning, dry cleaning delivery and do the majority of my shopping online - for books, presents, clothing. Try this next time you are looking for a unique gift or thank you present. We use this for our movie rentals and this saves me time (and gas) for purchasing postage and mailing right from my doorstep. We even have our wine delivered and can research and pick and chose bottles.

My goal in outsourcing is to gain time with my family. None of these tips are rocket science, but they did require a change in mindset. What outsourcing shortcuts have you found that make your life easier?

Do you PLANK?

I started a few sessions with a personal trainer at the gym. I felt like I had reached a plateau, was kind of bored and didn't feel like I was getting any fitter. I know my bikini days are long over but I still would like to see a little more overall "definition".

Enter young, hot, spunky trainer/nutritionist girl. Yep, nothing like making your 40-something body feel like it's rusted forever!

I love her - she has made me feel better in two weeks than a year of gym going has done. I also hate her. She makes me do this. Again and again and again.....Who knew? Try it, it seems to be working.

Shoeless, Sockless, Wordless Wednesday

Summer Picks

One of the great things about summer is the long reading list that awaits. In preparation for our house move, our television has been disconnected. I could not be happier. The kids were not happy at first, but quickly moved on to other things. I am enjoying extra evening snuggle time with one of my twins reading this: Amazon.com: The Invention of Hugo Cabret: Brian Selznick: Books. We love it so far and can't wait for each night to roll around so we can continue.

What are you reading this summer? What are your kids reading? Anything good to recommend?

Tick Tock.....

Well, if this doesn't just sum it all up. Use it or lose it.

Average Day

Average: can be defined as:

approximating the statistical norm or average or expected value; lacking special distinction, rank, or status; commonly encountered; lacking exceptional quality or ability; around the middle of a scale of evaluation

Average: As my friend, Huddtoo, asks - define an average day.

Hmmmm…..Average? You mean, as in, “typical”.

There is a lot about me that is sort of “typical” and many things about me and my life that are very “atypical”. I can’t tell you how many times growing up I would hear someone say, “well, that’s just typical of her”. Like, keeping my maiden name – “well, that’s just typical, she’s always been so independent”. It’s hard for me to define an average day. I run a consulting business from my home so some days I am working at home in my comfy clothes. Other days I am on a plane traveling to a client and working in a suit and out of a hotel room. I crave structure but I also get bored easily with “average” and like to mix it up. See, I’m not “typical”.

So, how do I define my average “not traveling” day? Well, I started to try to write it all down. My day seems boring. The task was so tedious. So, I decided to write down only my average morning. I typically manage the morning whether the kids are in school or during the summer. My sitter arrives at 10:30 am each day and stays till 5:30pm. She takes care of the pickups and dropoffs and general kid care between those hours so that I can focus on work. Here goes:

4:50am Day starts with alarm from blackberry on my side table; Hit alarm for one 5 min snooze
4:55 – 5:05: Get up in dark, feel around for workout clothes that I laid out the night before. Quick am routine, splash water on face, brush teeth, put in contacts and sort of comb hair.
5:05am – Mix up scoop of protein powder, soy milk and OJ into smoothie and slurp down. Set coffee maker to start coffee at 6:30am.
5:15am Fill water bottle, grab iPod, keys and meet neighbor outside – one of us drives each week to gym.
5:30am -6:30am – Workout. 30 minutes of cardio typically on elliptical followed by 25 minutes of weights and 5 minutes of stretching at end. Just started this week with a trainer for a few sessions to “mix it up”. Got bored with my average workout. Now I’m in pain!
6:45am – Arrive home, sit down with coffee (black) and try to mentally prepare for my day (or I start the list) or start writing notes to the nanny about playdates and pickup times and after school (or camp, now that its summer) and reminders for sunscreen, appropriate healthy snacks and other various rules and regulations. Usually fold a load of laundry while drinking next cup of coffee and then turn on computer, scan through emails.
7:15am – Call kids to come for breakfast, start making lunches, preparing snacks and thinking about what we might have for dinner (does something need to come out of freezer?). Throw in another load of laundry.
7:30 am – Start reminding kids to get dressed, make beds, brush teeth
7:35am – See that kids have ignored or “forgotten” routine and remind them again to get dressed, make beds and brush teeth.
7:40 am – Get myself in shower, blow dry hair – and yell to kids to get dressed, make beds and brush teeth. Apply sunscreen to 3 kids, check backpacks for lunch, snack, bathing suits and sunscreen. Ask if beds are made and teeth are brushed?
8:15am -8:45– Leave house to drop 4 year old at her camp first and then drop boys at their camp 8:55am – Arrive back home to start my “work day”. Seems pretty AVERAGE to me!

My workday is a mish mash of structured and unstructured client calls and project report writing and continuous emails – or it might involve onsite client trainings and presentations and steering committee meetings. Either way, much of what I end up doing is “reactive” rather than proactive and I often end up frustrated that I am not getting my actual work done. I left the corporate world after the birth of my third child – so that I could keep working but would have some “control” over my schedule. What I have noticed lately is that I do control my schedule but that there are just too many things to do and I am not “in control” when I don’t set limits or boundaries. So, if I am shifting from work emails at 7am to kid chauffeur at 8:30 and then back to worker at 9am – while mixing in grocery ordering, loads of laundry, bill paying, social planning etc. – well, it’s no wonder I'm not able to get anything done!

I just found this “free web conference” that I am planning on joining tomorrow. I hope I learn something as I will once again be filling my time with something other than my “work”. Oh well, maybe it’s just the summer and I will back in organizational and time management mode by September.

Thanks Fran for giving me something to do today (wink)! Care to join in and tell us about your "average day".

What more can I possibly say?

FOUR DOLLARS AND FORTY NINE CENTS!?? That's what a gallon of regular gas currently costs in my town.

Guess what the minimum wage is in my State: The New York minimum wage is $7.15 per hour

Previous Federal Minimum Wage: $5.15
New Federal Minimum Wage:
$5.85 - July 24th, 2007
$6.55 - July 24th, 2008
$7.25 - July 24th, 2009

Does anyone in Washington know how to do the math???

The Birds and the Birds?

We spent a few hours at the beach last weekend. We live close to the Atlantic and after a day of packing for our move next weekend, we rewarded ourselves with a picnic dinner and boogie boards. As we walked down the sand toward the water to scope out a perfect spot "ocean side", I noticed two men making out on the towel next to us. Not just kissing, but really going at it. Now mind you, this in and of itself does not bother me in the least - yeah, yeah, I am one of the people who can truly say " some of my best friends are gay and mean it" and I was an HIV nurse for years - during the "it's only a gay disease" years. Anyway, I digress.....we have been very open with our kids in a general kind of way about the fact that while most girls marry boys, some boys can marry boys and some girls love and marry other girls........no judgement either way, just a matter of fact kind of conversation.

We use all the proper anatomical verbage (J once announced in the middle of a restaurant that she had a "bagina" and mommy said only she could touch it"). We do a regular "no touch zone" lesson. So, it struck me strange that neither of my older kids has ever asked *any* questions about the birds and the bees. You know, those questions that you are holding your breath thinking they are coming. We keep waiting for them to ask something, ..anything....where does the baby come from, how does it get in there.....but they were more interested in the boys kissing boys at the beach. I guess that is going to be our segway into a more formal discussion. So, I bought this book today. Anyone else read or used this? I'd love some advice.

Double Trouble?

I haven’t been here in ages. We are in the midst of moving into a new home which required selling current home, keeping said current home “spotless”(yeah, right with three kids) while it was on the market and leaving said home to hide out around town every time the freakin’ phone rang to show the house! Now, don’t get me wrong. I am truly grateful. We had over 50 showings in 2 weeks and multiple offers and a deal at the end of the 2 week period. This wouldn’t be so amazing except we put our house on the market just as the market was turning for its rapid decline! But, all of this while I had to suddenly travel out of town for work for several weeks and juggle all the end of school year activities and camp forms for summer. By the way, my kids did not get out of school till the end of June (that’s the Northeast for ya). We move at the end of the month.

So, my girl won’t sleep in her bed! She has been in my bed every night for the last two weeks. I sort of like it. Ok, I actually really like it. Daddy, not so much. As I tried to play it tough last night and marched her back into her room for the forth time, she said, “it’s not fair, I want a twin too”. You know, she has a point. Her twin brothers have someone to sleep with. They have someone to start school with and go to camp with. They can stick together or separate – but the choice is there for them to make and it’s always been there for them. She has to go it alone. Well, just like all the rest of us do in life. But, it was the first time she seemed to notice. She wants a “twin”. You know what? I want a twin too. Well, just to share clothes – and chores! Guess what though? Neither one of us is getting a twin!

Multi-task no more!

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~Lisa Alther



One of the reasons it is so hard for me to be productive (other than I am exhausted) is that I have mastered the skill of multi-tasking. Some say that women are natural instinctive multi-taskers and we notice it more when our children are born. We can breastfeed a baby while typing on the computer and mentally making the grocery list. We know who needs to be where and when and we manage to always get the seasonally appropriate clothing in the drawers every few months in the right sizes – while remembering birthdays, anniversaries, school book fairs and the latest budget projections at work. Now, studies are showing that multi-tasking does not actually make you work faster or save time – that it is often better to concentrate on the task at hand.


My three children are getting older and their schedules are getting more complicated and hectic. I hear this is just the beginning of years of “running around” juggling activities. My business is getting busier (a good thing, yes) but I now find myself forgetting a lot of things that I used to be able to keep in my head. Not to mention that my brain is also aging. So, I quickly made my way back to David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” or GTD.

I will not profess to be an expert on GTD but I do know that there are a few key tips that can be applied by anyone to make their life more productive. One of the greatest lessons for me has been the “capture” of information/data in a centralized place (or inbox) other than in *my* head. Think of all the information bullets you dodge each hour of the day – emails, voicemails, school reminder notes, invitations, camp forms, reference materials, newspaper articles (that you hope to read one day), bills, receipts, recipes, hotel confirmation number – the list is endless and it never ends!


So – the first step is to get it all out of your head. All the "stuff" that is clogging up your brain trying to remember. Write down everything that you are thinking about – things you need to do now or later or maybe even some day. Things you need to find a place for or get rid of. Things you are worried about forgetting. DA calls it “brainstorming”. My list includes things like send boys birthday invite, get plane tickets for business trip next week, purchase additional smoke detector, purchase mulch, deposit check, update work website, update marketing list, go back to Ireland……see, it’s everything.


Put it all down. Clear your mind. I am going to work on generating that list tonight and hope to get a restful night of sleep. I’ll check back with the next step.

Care to join me?

Paper or Plastic?

I am an organizing junkie – or rather, a purchaser and reader of everything “organizational and time management related”. My problem is that I haven’t really gotten my system on auto pilot. A few years ago, a friend and business coach turned me onto David Allen’s “Getting Things Done”. It was the first book I had ever read that really made a lot of sense to me – for both personal and professional use - and I even went out and bought all the files and folders and attempted to start my system. The problem for me is that I haven’t really found out whether I am better with paper or “techno” – (what I am deeming plastic). I have both. I use both. I actually like them both for different reasons. And using both still mean I am still disorganized.

Buying a new house and getting our current house ready for market (especially a “down” market) has opened a “spring cleaning” door wide open. The need to set goals, purge, file, sort and delegate is a new daily chore. I feel invigorated and overwhelmed at the same time. I dug out my David Allen book combined with my Peter Walsh book – and I am on a mission.

If you are not familiar with either book, I will share the concepts with you over the next few posts. Are you ready to “Get things Done” along with me?

I’d love to hear how you keep your life organized and get things done. Please share your favorite tips.

I am Woman!

I have a vivid memory of those first months with my newborn twins. We were living in an apartment and I hadn’t showered in about 3 or 4 days. There were two other new moms in the building across the courtyard and each day they would strap their newborns into the “single” snap and go – and walk into town for Starbucks. I knew this because they would pass by my window and I would imagine all the wonderful bonding moments they were creating with each other – over a hot, steamy latte no less. I, on the other hand, had two infants - and the constant juggle of nursing and pumping and rocking and soothing – left little time for anything except the next feeding. I did not know these women and did not really find an opportunity to meet them – but I was so envious of them during those months.

I remember this so well not because it was hard to have twins or because I was so sleep deprived. I remember it because I felt so very isolated during this time. It was not quite the “stay at home” that I imagined. I didn’t know any other women in my unique “twin” situation. I could not easily get out of the house. There were no “double” snap and gos in those days – and I could not easily manage the two infant carriers or the feeding schedule out of the house by myself (I eventually mastered it). I actually learned a great deal about myself during those days. I am a social creature! I crave connection – and not just to my children. I love women. I need women in my life. I sometimes wish I could live with other women. I often joke with my friends that what we need is female communal living – a big giant house with the kids where we all love, communicate and support one another (and cook and babysit) – and then we can “date” our husbands on an “as needed” basis. It’s not that I don’t love my husband or think he is a tremendous father. It’s just that there is a kind of support and connection that other women provide me that no man has ever been able to give – not even my gay male friends!

The media loves to promote the mommy wars - one-sided stories about supermoms having it all, or working mothers vs. stay-at-home moms – but in the end, I think we all need each other. I know that I do! Maybe more than we let on to each other. I often wish I had yelled out the window to those two new moms. Hey, I am here - see me, please! Help me please! Bring me a double shot, low-fat latte - and a blueberry scone!

One sheep, Two sheep, Red sheep ...oh wait?! Wrong one.

As they say, “this too shall pass”. Who ever "they" are.....And it did…..the inability to keep my eyes open or my head off the pillow last week has been replaced with a cruel curse of insomnia. It is nearly 1:00am and I am wide awake. I could list all the “things” that have been keeping me hopping lately, but the funny thing is that I don’t really feel all that stressed out. I guess I must be pushing them way down and alas, I can’t sleep now. Now the question is chamomile tea or a glass of wine? What do you do when you can’t sleep??

I guess I could:

Count sheep (how does one actually do this?).
Deep breathe (wouldn’t I be doing this if I were actually asleep?).
Sniff lavender (oh, wait, forgot to plant lavender garden in preparation for insomnia)
Have sex (too much work and that would require waking snoring husband – or not?).
Read (not in the mood).

We bought a new house. There, I said it out loud. We only just told the kids yesterday – hope they can keep it quiet for a bit. We still have to sell our current home and we have quite a bit of cosmetic surgery to perform. It really is not a great time to be searching for a bigger mortgage and gone seem to be the days of buying a house contingent on selling yours (at least, not in my part of the country). We got into a bidding war and we still can’t believe we got the house! We close at the end of July – and the best part is it is just up the street! We get to stay in our neighborhood and stay in our school! But, I really don't think this is the reason I can't sleep.

Well, my tea is gone and I am going to see if I can finally get some zzzzzzz….. boy, I’d be asleep if I had to read this post – it’s boring……

YAWN.........

What Causes Exhaustion?
What people often don’t realize is that symptoms of exhaustion are usually a warning that something is wrong physically or emotionally, or that our lifestyle is in serious need of examination and change. Often referred to as fatigue, exhaustion can have multiple causes (including some serious medical conditions) and should not be ignored if it is persistent or interferes with your daily functioning.

I would post about why I am so exhausted this week but frankly, I am too exhauted to post!

How about you? Are you full of energy or are you dragging also?

Not Fat-Free, Just Free-Free

Sweet Dreams....something to look forward to in the morning!

Gotta Love that Ben and Jerry! Check here to see if there is a participating store near you.

My Life in Six Words

If you had to sum up your life in six words – big or small – what would they be? Cathy over at Chief Family Officer challenged me to the following meme: Chief Family Officer: My Life in Six Words. Since she already wrote what could be my six words, I had to stretch to think of those that would fully describe my life today - in the present "now".

Ask. Believe. Receive - Love, Laugh, LIVE!

While I am not a true follower of the ever popular Secret I do believe in the law of attraction. You know the story - you are thinking of your long lost friend from childhood with fond memories and a few minutes later the phone rings and it's her! You stop obsessing over the job you really wanted and an offer letter comes in the mail that afternoon. I have used this theory to really focus on how the energy - positive or negative - that I put out into the universe brings back to me those things that are either positive or negative. While I can not really control things, I *can* focus on being clear on what I want (ask), I can turn it over to some higher power (believe) and it will work out the way it is supposed to (receive). Never an easy task, but this motto definitely sums up how I try to live now.

The rest of my words: Love - you can never have too much! Laugh - there is nothing in the world like a howling, deep belly laugh that brings tears to your eyes and Live - sometimes you just have to live it up!

Post a comment and let's hear your six words!

I am tagging V, Jen, Fran, Dawn, and Andie - what are your 6 words?

Earth Day is Every Day

According to Wikipedia, Earth Day is a name used for two different observances, both held annually during spring in the northern hemisphere, and autumn in thesouthern hemisphere. These are intended to inspire awareness of and appreciation for the Earth's environment.

Last week, our school district set out to encourage families to walk to school with their kids or to get together with neighbors and take turns walking the kids to school. We happen to live in a district without buses – so “technically’ we are all within walking distance to the school – the main issue is whether you live in a neighborhood with actual sidewalks or whether you have to cross the big main street that runs through town (where you dodge the gas-guzzling Escalades, Expeditions and Suburbans racing to get through town). I was embarassed to realize how little I now walk and how dependent on driving “up the hill” I have become. I chalk it up to to scheduling issues trying to drop the big boys off and get to preschool and then get to work or get back to take a 9am conference call etc. But in reality, I have become lazy! Really lazy! So, we did it! We got back into walking last week. It gave me time to actually talk to the kids on the way home and it gave me an opportunity to see more of the neighbors during the week. The kids loved it and we are now pledging to do it at least three times a week. Some days it is just not possible as work schedules do get in the way. The school also implemented a “no-idle” zone for those families that need to drive for drop off or pick up. Did you know that idling for more than 30 seconds uses more gas than to re-start the engine and taxes its fuel efficiency!

We also vowed as a family to stop our use and purchase of those individual bottles of water. It sickens me to not only waste the money on half used bottles, but also to think of the waste of precious land fill. We re-invested in a new Water filter and got all the kids their own water bottle in a special color. I got one too! Now, I will not only get my 8 glasses a day, but I will not be adding to more plastic.

We do the usual – we’ve replaced all our bulbs with those energy efficient ones (I admit, I hate the light they emit – or rather, don’t emit). We try not to run the water during our teeth brushing. And, I have become addicted to www.Freecycle.org – have you freecycled this week?

I know these are only small steps. We’d love to have a “green” heating and cooling efficient house and we plan to purchase a hybrid as soon as we are ready for a new car. But for now, we will continue to it all “one step at a time”. What are you doing for the Earth? Would love to hear your stories!

Fabulous....Scrabulous!

Monday already. My new favorite way to procrastinate - that is, to waste valuable work time AND learn something new: Scrabulous! Have you played? Believe me, it's addicting! Try it out and see if you can stop....I dare you. Now, must get back to work. W-O-R-K (thats 11 points).

Fair and Balanced? I think I just tipped over!

If you know me, you realize the "fair and balanced" is NOT a reference to my love of Fox "noise" (as my friend Keith likes to call it each night during our dates). But rather, in my quest to find "balance" I have become addicted to blogs. So, to my dear friends, Jen and V and Fran who have been wondering where I am and who keep asking me to join in on the fun of blogging. I tell you: I give up......I give UP....I give IN!


I'm Here! I don't know if I'll actually have much to say - or maybe I'll have too much to say. Regardless, I am going to try to share the adventures of a 40-something, married, mother of twins plus one, volunteer/activist, who has been running her own company for the last 2 years and has learned a bit along the way. Most of what I've learned may be useless trivia, but who knows, maybe I'll be able to share some tidbit of wisdom.


So, welcome - and thanks for humoring me.